Birthdays, good friends, and good movies

Today is my friend Carina’s birthday (Happy Birthday, Carina!), and tonight all of us girls are getting dressed up and heading out to see Sex and the City: The Movie. So, when I was thinking about what to post today, I had a brilliant idea: Why not leave you guys with some words of wisdom from the fabulous Sex and the City girls themselves?

Enjoy! And have a fun weekend (and a cosmo or two)!

“The most exciting, challenging and significant relationship of all is the one you have with yourself. And if you can find someone to love the you you love, well, that's just fabulous.”

“Maybe mistakes are what make our fate... without them what would shape our lives? Maybe if we had never veered off course we wouldn't fall in love, have babies, or be who we are. After all, things change, so do cities, people come into your life and they go. But it's comforting to know that the ones you love are always in your heart... and if you're very lucky, a plane ride away”

“When you're young, your whole life is about the pursuit of fun. Then, you grow up and learn to be cautious. You could break a bone or a heart. You look before you leap and sometimes you don't leap at all because there's not always someone there to catch you. And in life, there's no safety net. When did it stop being fun and start being scary?”

“Maybe all men are a drug. Sometimes they bring you down and sometimes, like now, they get you so high."”

“I'm thinking balls are to men what purses are to women. It's just a little bag, but we feel naked in public without it.”

Random thoughts at 4:30 p.m. on a Wednesday...

I really miss being at the lake. I miss eating my breakfast on the porch every morning. I miss only going inside to sleep. I miss being surrounded by family. I miss raiding my grandparent’s camp for brownies with tiny little M&Ms in them. I miss waking up to the morning light instead of an alarm clock. And I really, really miss the warm Texas nights that wrap themselves around you like a blanket and make you feel all happy and fuzzy inside. Want to see some pics from my weekend? Check these out!

I smell Starbucks coffee. Well, maybe it’s not Starbucks coffee, but it’s definitely not coffee out of the coffee maker in the lunch room. Smells like a latte or maybe a mocha. Smells like the inside of a coffee shop. It makes me want to blow this cubicle and head for Barnes and Noble where I can flip through a travel book and sip on something warm.

Being a 20-something is so exciting. This age really has to be the most exciting age of all. Whether it’s moving to a new city, going to college, graduating with a master’s degree, getting married, having babies, starting a new job, quitting an old job, falling in love or traveling the world, it just seems like your 20s are a time of choosing who you want to be and what you want to do. Everyone I know is defining themselves differently, it seems, but they all have that same excited glow that says, “This might be a little bit scary, but I’m loving every minute of it!” Pretty fun stuff.

I don’t understand the need for eight-hour workdays. Doesn’t that seem a tad bit too long to you guys? I mean, five hours, maybe, but eight? Seems a bit excessive.

The book I’m reading says that most of the negative emotions we experience are rooted in fear. It says that if you’re feeling jealous or angry or sad or mad, when you dig down to the root of the problem, you’ll usually find that you’re just scared about something. Yesterday it occured to me that this is quite true. That’s when decided I wasn’t going to let fear rule my life. I sat in my car and screamed at the top of my lungs for fear to get his ugly little hairy butt out of my life. I think I may have scared him off for now. Today has been a good day.

I really like to be busy when I’m alone. I generally only like to laze about when I have someone to laze about with, but when I’m alone, I prefer to busy myself with tedious, needless tasks. On my agenda for the night: write a thank you note, run three miles, go to Target, file the pile of receipts on my desk, do dishes, write in my journal, watch The Real World: Hollywood. I've got a busy night ahead of me. Better get started. Enjoy yours!

Forgive and forget

I’ve just finished reading “The Four Agreements,” and I want so much for it to change my life. I highly recommend reading it if your life needs an overhaul.

One of the things in the book that has really stuck with me is how hard we are on ourselves and how this is not healthy behavior. The book talks about justice and injustice and how making someone pay for something once is justice and making someone pay for the same mistake over and over again is injustice. But this is what we do to ourselves. We make one small mistake in our lives, and instead of forgiving ourselves once, learning from our mistake, and moving on, we make ourselves pay for that one mistake a million times. We pay for it every time we remember it, every time we dwell on it, every time we tell someone else about it, every time we think about it. So, why is it so easy to forgive other people, but so hard to forgive ourselves?

I forgive the people that I love so easily. To me, it’s almost like they could do no wrong. And if they do something wrong, I understand that they are sorry, I accept their apology, and I forgive them in a second. I probably couldn’t name 10 things that other people have done wrong. Why? Because I forgive and forget and move on. The mistakes other people make don’t tarnish the way that I see them. I understand that they are human and they’re going to mess up every once in a while.

But it’s not the same with myself. The way I see it, each mistake that I make makes me less appealing as a friend, a girlfriend, a sister, a coworker. Ask me to make a list of 10 things I’ve done wrong, and I’ll make a list of 100. I can remember each and every mistake I’ve made in complete detail, and I probably think about them on a weekly basis. This sounds terrible, and it is. I make myself pay for my mistakes a million times over. I’m harder on myself than any judge or jury would be, and I can’t seem to find a way out of it.

If my boyfriend/sister/friend does something stupid, gets mad for no reason or just plain acts like a jerk, I forgive them and move on. If I do something stupid, get mad for no reason or just plain act like a jerk, I feel like I single-handedly ruined the entire weekend/day/night for everyone and it usually takes me a couple weeks to get over feeling bad about myself. And since I’m human and I do stupid things/get mad for no reason/just plain act like a jerk a couple times a month, it seems that lately all I’ve been doing is beating myself up for my mistakes, mistakes that should have been forgiven and forgotten the moment after they happened. And I have to admit, feeling like this is really starting to bum me out.

If I can be so kind to the people in my life that I love, why can’t I afford myself the same amount of kindness? Shouldn’t I be able to forgive and forget my own mistakes the same way that I forgive and forget others? Is it possible to love myself as much (or more!) than I love the people in my life?

The book says it is. So, I’m trying to learn. One thing that frustrates me the most is that I keep making the same mistake over and over again. I keep acting stupid over one certain thing, and I feel like I’m not making any progress in overcoming it. It keeps coming up and every time it comes up and I act like a stupid idiot, I always tell myself, that’s the last time I’ll act like that. I tell myself I’ve learned from it. And what happens? I act the exact same way again the next time. Maybe that’s why I’m so hard on myself. I really want to see some progress in this area, and I feel like I just can’t for some reason.

I know this is sort of a deep post for the first day back from a vacation, but these thoughts have been plaguing me for a while and I needed to get them down on paper, err, screen. If you have any thoughts on the subject, feel free to add them.

Texas bound

Some of you may remember a post not too long ago about my family’s lake house and how my parents sold it and bought a different one. Well, I’m happy to say that tomorrow I’m flying home to Texas to spend Memorial Day weekend at the lake! It will be a little sad to be in a different camp, but I’m pretty sure it’ll still be a blast.

I wanted to give you all a taste of what the lake is like so I decided to make a list of my favorite things about it:

Getting to stop on the way and eat at Casa Ole (the best Mexican restaurant EVER!). Riding the four wheelers through the woods. Grilled hot dogs. Seeing family and friends I haven’t seen in forever. Taking walks because there’s nothing else to do. Wearing flip flops for three days straight. Days that seem to last for years. Late night stories and jokes that make me laugh until my stomach hurts. Waving at everyone, whether you know them or not. Raiding my grandparents’ camp for treats. The annual Memorial Day festivities (golf cart parade, cake walk, raffle, fishing tournament). Breakfast on the porch every morning. Smores around the fire every night. Cruising around on the golf cart and visiting with everyone. Snowcones! Barbeque beef sandwiches with everyone on Saturday. Riding the jet skis, tubing and skiing. Floating in the lake and working on my tan. The crawfish and shrimp boil we’re having on Sunday. The annual Memorial Day dance!

I promise to post pictures of everything on my list when I get back on Tuesday so you can see them all! Until then, have yourselves a fantastic Memorial Day weekend!

Traffic on the 10

Tonight, I got in my car after work and turned on the radio. Tori Signal (she was obviously born to be a traffic reporter) was giving the traffic report. Tori was giving the usual rundown of congested freeways when she said something that caught my attention. She said she had figured out why the 10 east was so congested. It was because of two things: The Spurs/Lakers game at the Staples Center and the taping of the American Idol finale at the Nokia Live Theatre.

It's moments like that when I remember just how cool it is to live in LA.

Charisse Day

Yesterday was my sister’s birthday (Happy Birthday, Brianne!). She turned 24 and celebrated with a day of Starbucks breakfasts, flowers, chocolates, margaritas at lunch, cupcakes with candles and dinner with a friend. And I have to admit, I was jealous of all her birthday fun, which got me thinking about birthdays.

I have always love, love, loved my birthday — the one day all of my family and friends are forced to celebrate me and all the wonderfulness that I am. From the moment I wake up every August 13 to the moment I fall asleep, I indulge in everything and everyone I love and make sure that the entire world knows the day is about ME.

But yesterday, while I was busy being jealous that it wasn’t my birthday, I realized that something has changed. This year I’ll be turning 27, a number I am not entirely comfortable with. Turning 25 was fine. Turning 26 was a little bit unsettling. But turning 27 is gonna be bad. I just know it. Late twenties. Blek. How can that be any fun?

However, just because I don’t want to turn 27 does not mean I don’t want a day when everyone celebrates my wonderfulness. And so I’ve come up with a plan. Instead of a birthday, I can have a Charisse Day.

Charisse Day will be celebrated sometime in the early summer when the days are warm and long. And on Charisse Day, everyone who knows me will shower me with gifts and praise, sing me songs, write me poems and cook me dinners. Someone will buy me a cake, but instead of candles, it will be covered in those little sugary letters that spell out “Happy Charisse Day.” And instead of singing Happy Birthday, everyone will sing Journey’s Don’t Stop Believing simply because it is quite possibly my favorite song.

On Charisse Day, I won’t have to work, and all of my family and friends will be required to take the day off. (After all, if everyone was working all day, who would I celebrate Charisse Day with?) While all of the activities on Charisse Day will be chosen by me, the honoree, heartfelt surprises will be encouraged, especially if they fall into the shoes, bags, or clothing categories.

In short, Charisse Day will be like a birthday, but without the reminder that I’m turning a year older with absolutely no way to slow down the hands of time. Ah, yes. I can see it all shaping up nicely in my head.

Think about it: Who really needs birthdays when you can have Charisse Days?

Mondays are for losers

6 hours at the beach with friends +
1 game of bocci ball +
10 toes in the water +
1 trip to Main Street +
2 cab rides +
1 conversation about breast implants (with a cab driver) +
1 conversation about marriage (with a cab driver) +
1 dance in the kitchen +
5 spicy buffalo wings +
3 shared appetizers +
1 vodka tonic at Circle Bar +
1 trip to Big Dean’s +
10 hours of sleep +
1 lost long board +
2 loud boys +
1 hour on the phone +
1 Glamour magazine +
15 blocks walking on Montana +
1 pastrami sandwich +
1 bike ride to Whole Foods and the Promenade +
3 hours of the Academy of Country Music Awards +
1 bet to see who does the dishes +
1 victorious ACM ballot +
2 olives stuffed with blue cheese +
2 plates of spaghetti, green beans and garlic bread +
1 really good brownie from Whole Foods +
1 extra hot decaf cinnamon dolce latte =

One interesting weekend.

Okey dokey

Glamour magazine has this column every month that I love where they give readers permission to do the quirky little things we do everyday that we usually try not to let anyone find out about. It’s a really fun column so I thought I’d give it a whirl myself. Here’s my attempt.

Hey, it’s OK …

To buy really cute notepads and not use them because they’re too cute.

To turn the channel when the Sex in the City movie preview comes on so it doesn’t spoil the surprise.

To splurge on expensive bread, but wear Payless shoes.

To require 10 hours of sleep a night.

To spend all summer at the beach, but never get in the water.

To only own plastic dishes.

To eat brownies every night before bed.

To consider TMZ and Access Hollywood your daily dose of news.

To carry a small bottle of hairspray in your purse at all times.

To cry when you need to, even if it's for no good reason.

To consider $15 wine a luxury.

To be the only one who orders dessert.

(Feel free to add some of your own!)
Happy Friday, everyone! Make the weekend a great one!

Child's play

The track that I run at has a big grass field in the middle where local soccer leagues practice everyday. It’s one of the reasons I like running at this track. It’s always fun to watch the budding little soccer players kick the ball around while their proud parents watch from the sidelines and cheer them on. It’s also fun to see the younger brothers and sisters doing their homework in the grass before they are allowed to run around and play with the other kids. Seeing them fill in the blanks in their workbooks with their pencils, trying to concentrate just long enough to get the assignment done so they can play, really got me thinking.

Why is it that this sort of behavior is completely acceptable and incredibly normal when you’re a kid? In fact, if you weren’t hurrying through your homework, missing half the answers and scribbling words no one can read, people might actually wonder what’s wrong with you. The truth is, kids have way better things to do besides homework. They have friends to play with, forts to build, bikes to ride, feet to dirty and imaginary worlds to dream up. And we don’t just accept this kind of behavior from them, we encourage it.

But something changes when you graduate from college. Suddenly, we’re all expected to become ultra-serious, career-focused, money-making machines with Outlook calendars so packed full that we have to schedule time to breathe. It becomes normal to work more than you sleep, to see your coworkers more than your friends and to say things like “Let’s think outside the box” and mean them.

But honestly, these days, I’m having a problem with the way I’m “supposed” to be living. These days, I’m identifying more with those kids on the soccer field, scrambling to get through their homework, than my colleagues in the office, deliberating on conference calls until well after 7:00 pm. I don’t want to put in 12 hour days in the hopes of a promotion. All I really want to do is rush through my mandatory eight hours so I can go play.

What can I say, there are books to read, friends to call, songs to dance to, meals to share, bikes to ride, flowers to smell, blogs to write and cups of coffee to sip. And to me, these things will always be more important than building my stock portfolio or having some fancy title on the nameplate outside my cube.

Go ahead, call me unmotivated, irresponsible or lazy.

I’ll call you no fun. Then I’ll stick out my tongue, grab my long board and thank God that my five-year success plan involves ice cream cones and sleepovers. I wouldn’t want it any other way.

Monday again??

2 Squirt and Tequilas from Carina’s dad’s bar +
1 trip to Hollywood +
1 beer and bathroom break at Big Wang’s +
1 cranberry vodka at Citizen Smith +
1 conversation with a cheap Kansan +
5 Michael Jackson jokes at the Spotlight +
3 good songs at the Burgundy Room +
1 very weird trip up the stairwell at the Standard +
30 minutes of arguing with the parking attendant +
2 orders of very greasy food at Denny’s +
1 drive home at 4:00 am +
2 tall, decaf, extra hot cinnamon dolce lattes +
1 bag of puffy Cheetos +
45 minutes of The Science of Sleep +
1 nap on the couch +
1 walk to the beach +
2 houseguests +
1 broken bull at Union Cattle +
1 walk to the Mermaid Bar +
2 girls who cut in line at the Pita Pit +
1 shared bbq philly steak pita +
1 cheese enchilada on the Hermosa pier +
1 awkward bike ride in a dress +
2 Coronas at Cabo Cantina +
1 game of pool at Barney’s +
3 broiled rib eye steaks +
1 hour of Brothers & Sisters season finale =

One completely spontaneous and totally fun weekend.

The hoochie police

It’s no secret that some of the clubs in LA are pretty hard to get into. For this reason, girls have come up with some completely ridiculous ways to get the bouncers to let them in, starting with wearing as little as possible. Is it completely demeaning? Yes. Does it work? Absolutely.

Here’s an instant message conversation I had today with two of my friends while we planned where we are going tomorrow night and what we are going to wear. It was so funny that I couldn’t resist posting it for your entertainment.

*Some names have been abbreviated to avoid any embarrassment.

Z says:
so i'm wearing black jeans, gold pointy toe shoes, and a black/purple blouse with a gold belt. it has sleeves so i'll be pretty covered up, since you asked charisse. what about you guys?
Charisse says:
hmmm, i want to wear shorts but it might be too cold
Y says:
noo nooo
Y says:
it might be hard to get into....I think all the girls should wear skirts
Charisse says:
hahaha!
Charisse says:
are you telling us to be skanky, Y??
Y says:
hahaha
Z says:
i am not going to wear a skirt! it's too cold!
Y says:
It won't be cold on Saturday
Z says:
at 10 at night it will!
Charisse says:
lol! ya'll are cracking me up
Z says:
my hoochie days are over.
Y says:
what??? Why are u married?
Charisse says:
your hoochie days are never over!!
Y says:
seriously!
Charisse says:
hahaha!
Y says:
aite fine....I'm wearing a skirt...if you don't get in, then...
Charisse says:
can i wear my cowboy boots, Y?
Charisse says:
j/k! j/k!
Z says:
i can just see the look on Y’s face!
Charisse says:
haha!
Y says:
hahaha...no cowboy boots
Charisse says:
ok, ok
Y says:
that's worse than Z’s jeans
Y says:
lol
Charisse says:
haha!
Z says:
shut up!
Z says:
you haven't told us what you are wearing, missy!
Y says:
a dress or a hoochie skirt
Y says:
lol
Y says:
some one has to get us in!!
Charisse says:
haha! so now we all have to run our outfits by Y, the hoochie police
Y says:
the Hoochie police!!! I love it! Lol
Z says:
good one!
Z says:
I really don't want to deal with lines! i hope it isn't crowded!
Charisse says:
well, Z, the shorter your skirt, the shorter the line!
Z says:
hahahaha!
Y says:
Wow, Charisse, you're picking up fast!! That's what I'm talking about. lol
Charisse says:
haha!
Charisse says:
how about i just not wear pants at all? will that for sure get us in?
Z says:
wear your polka dot bikini!
Charisse says:
good idea!!
Y says:
Umm, yea, that'll get you in...
Y says:
in to jail!
Charisse says:
HAHAHA!

Green with envy

Maybe it’s my green eyes, but lately, I can’t stop seeing green. Seems as if envy has gotten me by the back of my neck with no plans of letting go.

And I’m realizing that it’s true what they say about it being a cancer of the mind, eating away at you until you can’t even distinguish fact from fiction anymore.

I found this passage online as I was desperately searching for tips to overcome this thing.

“Jealousy is simply and clearly the fear that you do not have value. Jealousy scans for evidence to prove the point - that others will be preferred and rewarded more than you. There is only one alternative - self-value. If you cannot love yourself, you will not believe that you are loved. You will always think it's a mistake or luck. Take your eyes off others and turn the scanner within. Find the seeds of your jealousy, clear the old voices and experiences. Put all the energy into building your personal and emotional security. Then you will be the one others envy, and you can remember the pain and reach out to them.”

I’m now on a mission to build my personal and emotional security at any cost. I can’t let this thing ruin the relationships that mean the most to me.

If you have any helpful advice, I’m all ears.

Stagecoach 2008 rocked my socks off!

Oh man, where do I even start?
(I'm sure I'll leave stuff out, but here goes...)

5 fun friends +
4 days of memories +
3 tents +
1,000 beers +
50 games of beer darts +
2 boys with darts in their feet +
1 football to the back +
2 nights of shows +
5 sandwiches +
1 back flip +
20 walks around the campsite +
6 forgotten cups of beer +
3 nights sleeping on the ground +
4 days without a shower +
1 shake from In N Out +
1 burger from McDonald’s +
1 trip to Ralph’s for more beer +
1 strange conversation about the war +
2 trips to the beer garden +
1 nap on the ground before Dierks Bentley +
12 hours of sleep +
1 slice of pizza +
2 soft tacos +
1 Stagecoach T-shirt +
1,000 funny jokes +
3 Poptarts +
2 bags of puffy Cheetos +
2 games of catch +
1 super soaker +
7 hours in the car +
30 bottles of water +
142 pictures =

One FANTASTIC weekend at Stagecoach 2008!

If you don’t believe me, check out the pictures!

1 day...

Today’s the last day I’ll be blogging before my 3 days of fun at Stagecoach! It’s finally almost here! I pick my sister up from LAX at 10:10 (SHARP, she says) tomorrow morning then head to Santa Monica to pick up a friend then out to the valley to grocery shop and grab my boyfriend for the 3 hour drive to Indio.

We’ll no doubt have the windows down, our cowboy boots on and some good music playing. Have yourselves a fantastic weekend! I’ll post some pictures from the show when I get back.

For now, here’s your third Stagecoach artist of the week: Dierks Bentley

Pair of boots and a sack of clothes
Free and easy down the road I go
Hangin’ memories on the high line poles
Free and easy down the road I go
Free and easy down the road I go

Ragweed’s rockin’ on the radio
Free and easy down the road I go
So I keep rollin’ like and old banjo
Free and easy down the road I go

Got the sun shinin’ on me like a big spotlight
So I know everything is gonna be alright.

Ain’t no tellin’ where the wind might blow
Free and easy down the road I go
Livin’ life like a Sunday stroll
Free and easy down the road I go
Free and easy down the road I go

If you only get to go around one time
I’m gonna sit back and try to enjoy the ride

I could make a million or wind up broke
Free and easy down the road I go
Can’t take it with you when you go so
Free and easy down the road I go
Someday I know it’s gonna take me home so
Free and easy down the road I go.